February means Valentine’s Day, which is pretty much a celebration of love, and that’s something we can all embrace and get behind. So go ahead and indulge a friend or significant other with some extra attention – some chocolate, some flowers, or even some chocolate flowers (which pretty much cover all the bases).

But don’t stop there.

Because the day will pass, the flowers will eventually wilt, and the chocolate will get eaten. So if you really want to express your love and appreciation, you need to turn the attention back to self. And when you do, ask yourself this question: Is what you are doing nourishing your soul?

It’s a question proposed by psychologist Dr. Robert Puff to help us sift through the things we do that actually resonate and give us deep personal return, versus all the other things we do, which are mostly process. When you start dissecting your life and your patterns and habits in this way, you may be incredibly surprised at what you uncover.

Think of it as Marie Kondo-ing your soul.

But instead of asking if certain objects give you joy, you’re asking if what you actually do has meaning and purpose. And if it doesn’t, it’s time to shift your time and energy toward the things that do.

This can mean lots of things; like spending more time with your kids and less time at work, engaging in conversation with people rather than staring at your phone, or getting up early to marvel at the sunrise instead of staying up late to watch reality shows.

Everyone’s scale and value system will be different, but if you gravitate toward those things that truly nourish your soul, you’ll be moving closer to loving yourself, your life, and the world around you. And that’s the best Valentine’s gift of all.